Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Full Moon

Note: I wrote this about 7 years ago and just stumbled across it in an old notebook the other day.


(Night time, two men are walking through the grass in the dark)


Kevin: Man, I TOLD you to get gas at that last exit.

Brad: I'm SORRY man! How many times do I have to say it? I was wrong, okay? Is that what you want to hear? You were right and I was wrong.

Kevin: Okay okay fine. Let's just forget about it, okay?

Brad: THANK you.

Kevin: Besides, that sign back there said only one mile to the next exit. That's not too bad.

Brad: Yeah, and maybe we can hitch a ride back to our car once we've got the gas.

Kevin: Besides, this walk is helping me work out some of the soreness in my legs.

Brad: Me too, that soccer game was out of control! I couldn't believe that goal you made with the guy coming right at you!

Kevin: Yeah, well you didn't play too bad yourself. Hey thanks for letting me borrow your shirt, man. I totally ate crap there at the end. I'll probably never get those stains out.

Brad: Don't mention it, man. It's a lucky thing I had an extra one in the back seat.

Kevin: Hey, did you see Gertrude on the sidelines?

Brad: DID I? Wow!

Kevin: SMOKIN' hot.

Brad: For sure. It's a real shame her name is Gertrude and I'm THAT shallow and petty.....(sighs) ahh, it's such a nice night.

Kevin: Yeah, it really is.

Brad: Paper said there's a full moon tonight.

(Kevin stops walking)


Kevin: What did you say?

Brad: Tonight's a full moon, too bad the clouds are blocking it.

Kevin: (to himself) Oh no....oh my gosh...

Brad: What's wrong? Kevin, what is it?

Kevin: Brad, you have to get out of here right now.

Brad: What?

Kevin: Just run away as fast as you can.

Brad: What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere. Oh look! The moon's coming out.

Kevin: Please Brad, just go!

Brad: Why?

Kevin: When the moon comes out, I'm gonna change into a....a........

Brad: Are you about to sneeze?

(a stretching sound, Kevin begins to change)


Kevin: (distorted voice) Oh no, Brad run!

Brad: My gosh! You're growing! Kevin, are you doing steroids?

Kevin: BRAD....(the sound of fabric tearing)


Brad: Hey! You're ripping my shirt! I like that shirt!

Kevin: I'll buy you a new one, GET OUT OF HERE!!!

Brad: You can't buy me a new one! It was complementary when I opened a super-saver account at the bank.

Kevin: (voice is increasingly more inhuman) WHAT?! Then it doesn't matter!

Brad: Sure it does. I still like it. Just because it's free....

Kevin: (roaring) BRAD!!!

Brad: It's still fixable, take it off quick!

Kevin: I can't, it's too tight now! Go!

Brad: You're not even trying.

Kevin: You idiot! I'm turning into a werewolf!

(another tearing sound)


Brad: NO! You're ripping it more!

Kevin: Did you hear what I just said??

Brad: You've got some nerve!

(Kevin roars)


Brad: Hey, I'm still talking! I lend you my shirt and you destroy it? What a douche!

Kevin: This is your last chance!

Brad: Seriously, it's just rude is what it is. And also, I think it's pretty inconsiderate that you're a werewolf and you don't have, like, a star chart memorized or something? I mean, you had NO idea that tonight was a full moon night? That's pretty irresponsible dude. You need to stay on top of this.

(Roaring, thrashing and ripping)


Brad: Hey! Not my other shirt! I'm still wearing that one!

(more slashing)


Brad: AUGH! My FLESH too?! You are the worst friend ever!!!

The End