MARK 14:51-52
A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.
Six Weeks Later:
Peter: Cornelius! How are you my friend!
Cornelius: Oh…hello Peter.
Peter: I have not seen you in…gosh, it must have been what? Six weeks? So much has happened since then my friend, wouldn’t you say?
Cornelius: What? What has happened?
Peter: …you don’t know? Where have you been?
Cornelius: I’ve been hiding in a hole since that night in the garden! I was so afraid!
Peter: Good gracious, man! I had all but forgotten! You were the one who went running off that night totally naked!
Cornelius: Shhh! Keep it down, will you? I’m not exactly proud of that.
Peter: But why NAKED, is what I want to know? I mean, we were all scared, most of us ran as well, but why did you ditch your cloak?
Cornelius: …
Peter: Come now, friend. You can tell me.
Cornelius: I…I thought it would help lower my wind resistance and increase my getaway speed.
Peter: …
Cornelius: Why are you looking at me like that?
Peter: I’m pretty sure when I walked on water for those three or four steps I was moving faster than you can run.
Cornelius: Now THAT is just hyperbole!
Peter: Hyperbole! Nice word! In Greek of course, because that’s the language we’re speaking right now.
Cornelius: Thanks. Look, I panicked, okay? I don’t KNOW what I was thinking and I’m already embarrassed about it, so you don’t have to make fun of me.
Peter: Of course, of course. I apologize.
Cornelius: You don’t think anyone else saw me do that, do you? I mean, I was way off to the edge of the group. Chances are no one else noticed but you, right?
Peter: Well…I would agree with you, except you were on the Western side and shoved your way through the group completely nude to get to the Eastern side. And then when you got there you changed your mind and shoved your way back through to head West. So actually I’m fairly certain everyone noticed.
Cornelius: My gosh, this is humiliating. Well how many people were there in total, like 15 or so? That isn’t so bad, right? I mean it was a hectic night, people have probably forgotten it in all the chaos.
Peter: I distinctly remember hearing Mark say “I am going to write a book about all of this. And I have a really good memory, so I won’t forget a single detail.”
Cornelius: You are really bumming me out Peter.
Peter: I am truly sorry, friend. But I do not want to lie to you.
Cornelius: *sigh* I appreciate your honesty. It’s just very discouraging to think that years from now I will be remembered as the guy that stripped down nude and ran away incredibly fast when Jesus was betrayed.
Peter: The only way people will remember you as fast is if they have all lost the ability to run at all.
Cornelius: Say, you haven’t seen that cloak of mine around by any chance have you? I never did find it.
Peter: No, I can’t say I have. I assume that’s why you’re still nude right now as we speak?
Cornelius: Yes. It was my only one.
Peter: Well, check with the other guys. One of them may have picked it up.
Cornelius: Thanks, brother.
